he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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