Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
