OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
