I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
