I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
