you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
