dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
