i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
