So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
