another moral hangover. fuck.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
