flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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