"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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