On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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