Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
