i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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