Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
