I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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