She said her name was "party"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
