Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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