Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
