Swine flu is the new snow day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
