I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
