you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
