hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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