so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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