a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
