I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I want to fling myself into the sun
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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