I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
