Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
