Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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