You really coming over, don't trick.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
