I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
