yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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