just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
