wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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