dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
