you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
