if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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