Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
