am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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