he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
