when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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