Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
