He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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