He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
