Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
