can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
