She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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