Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
