true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
