Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
